Changes in identity

So as some of you may know, my next solo work is focusing on the concept of identity and how it fits into magic. It’s rather fitting then that the last year and 3/4ths has been focused on changing my own identity in a variety of different contexts from my relationships with lovers and friends, to my relationship with my self, and how I’ve chosen to engage in meaningful activities that allow me to fully live, as opposed to just getting by.

To me, success in magic is driven far more by a targeted proactive approach toward manifesting the kind of person you want to be, and much less toward obtaining specific results for specific situations. At one time, for most of my magical career it was the latter paradigm that I was focused on. It was a reactive approach I took, and I sometimes didn’t understand why I needed to do it so much.

I think that as a person consciously changes his/her identity and figures out what s/he wants, the less there is a need for reactive acts of magic. Magic becomes a process, as opposed to an act. It becomes a way of life as opposed to a tool used to handle a situation. It becomes a conscious agreement with the universe about the pathv a person is taking through the universe, and becomes less of a stumbling around in the dark.

Of course that’s my take on magic, in large part generated by very specific and targeted changes in my life, lifestyle choices, and overall focus. The change in my identity has so far been one of the most involved experiments I’ve done and has pretty much involved challenging every single assumption I’ve held about not only magic but all the other facets of my life. The uprooting it’s caused in my life has been significant and yet that significance is based far more in taking such a proactive approach to identity, by recognizing what no longer worked and actively focusing on changing it, while discovering what definitely works and enhancing it.

When I finally get around to writing my next solo book, it will be interesting to see what I do with it…but I’m in no hurry on this one. I’ve already got so much going on and it’s far more exciting to be living it.

An art recommendation and a minor update on my work with elephant

Check out Acrylick Alchemy. It’s really fantastic, magical art by gifted artist and occultist Acrylick. I’ve liked her art from the beginning. I find to be very evocative. You can tell she’s tapped into the spirit of what she is working with. I’ve sometimes felt that the paintings could come alive…

I haven’t posted an update on my work with elephant, mainly because I’m still doing some reading and research about the elephant. Here’s a review of one of the books I just finished. I’ll note that doing the research is really helping me understand more about elephants and will be helpful when I begin doing more work with elephant.

Book Review: The Life and Lore of the Elephant

This was a relatively quick read, which managed to succinctly speak to the history of the relationship between elephants and humans. I found it to be  a useful book in deepening my understanding of how elephants have been treated by humans. Overall a very informative read. I particularly liked the inclusion of the historical documents.

4 out of 5 elephants

Time Experiments, Ethics part 2

On Friday, my group and I did some work with time magic. The first two experiments we did were based off of Jean Houston’s book The Possible Human.

We did one experiment, where we would experience our consciousness as a unit of time, such as a second, minute, year, 100 years etc. Eventually you lose track of the units of time and enter into a non-linear state of experience with time. Each of us who did this exercise experienced a very similar state of mind.

The second experiment was one where we worked with three segments of time on a yardstick, as it were, but altered which segment of time (past, present, or future) was more prevalent during the meditation. It was an interesting experiment, again because of the state of mind it put us in, moving us out of a linear state of mind and into a non-linear state of mind.

Both of these exercises are useful ones to do, to put you into a very receptive state of mind for doing time magic. They don’t take very long to do, but they condition your mind to push itself outside of the constraints of linear time.

The final exercise was done with the Goetic Daimon Purson. In the mythology I’ve created around my own use of time magic, Purson is a guide on the silver strands of time. I introduced him to my group last night, partially as a way of thanking him for his services and patronage and partially as a way of helping the people I work with learn a bit more about my own approaches to time magic. We used the tesseract board to evoke him and my experience with was of two trees twisted together. I thought that rather odd until late that evening, I came across Ipos, another Goetic Daemon of time…so I’ll be contacting him soon.

So an update on the Ethics book. I’ve started working on chapter one and it’s coming together nicely. I got some responses on the first post, both from commenters on this blog and from a blog entry by Augogeides along the lines of arguing that magic is a technology and puzzlement that there’s a need to write about ethics as it pertains to occult culture. It was also argued that ethics as they applied to magic boiled down to being able to determine if an action was ethical or not, regardless of whether it was a magical action or a non-magical action. That’s the gist of it, or at least what I got from what was said.

When I talk about ethics and magic, I’m talking about taking a proactive approach to ethics, which incorporates practical magical techniques into how one approaches ethics in his/her life. However, I don’t think merely determining if an action is ethical or non-ethical, and then making your choice to follow through on that action or not, is really ethics…or rather I think of that as reactive or cover your ass ethics, ethics utilized as a way of making sure you aren’t doing anything wrong (or aren’t getting caught). I don’t really think of that as a useful approach to integrating ethics into one’s life because it doesn’t make ethics part of your life process and growth. Instead it’s just a convenient code to check on occasionally to make sure you are in the clear. I have a lot more to say about this, but I’ll save it for the book. Suffice to say my and Vince’s approach and outlook on ethics and their role/integration in magic is decidely different from what I’ve usually encountered in the occult community.

Book Review: The Evolving Self by Mihayli Csikzentmihayli

I wish I could say this book really represented an evolution in psychology or how we conceive of the self, but the truth is, it really doesn’t. If you read this author’s other works, then this work can be thought of as half a step beyond those works. At times the author is judgmental, condescending, and whiny, and he doesn’t offer much in the way of a concrete definition of self. The final few chapters predictably focus on flow, but don’t  provide anything significantly new to the theory that he hasn’t offered anywhere else.

Two out of five

Elemental Emptiness Month 8: Craving and Desire pt. 1

5-18-09 I think sometimes what I find so difficult about desire is that desire brings some sense of vulnerability with it. I can express a desire, but that expression leaves me vulnerable. And sometimes the expression has left me in places where I’ve felt very…hung out to dry. I’ve expressed interest and then been left dangling, wondering what happened when I don’t get a response. And some of that is ultimately on me and how I express desire, but nonetheless the vulnerability that arises with all of that is something I’ve never sat with or really spent time being around. It’s an interesting insight for me to realize.

Further thoughts on clothing and magic

Since my earlier post on clothing and magic, I’ve been doing some further thinking about it, and considering just how much the act of getting ready for the day can be incorporated into a purposeful ritual that allows a person to invoke a persona that enables him/her to go into the day’s encounters and succeed.

I’ve mentioned clothing of course, but even other acts such as putting on makeup, or deodorant, or shaving, tying hair back or otherwise prepping for the day can be construed as part of the magical act of creating the persona. Each action can be perceived as putting on part of the costume or ritual garb, which allows the person to assume the persona of a business person, entrepreneur, or whatever it is s/he needs to be in the moment.

For myself the various activities I do to get ready for my day have become ritualized. Putting on the business shirt and buttoning it, and then tucking it it into the business slacks and tying m hair back, before putting on the business coat and shoes and socks has become a ritual I use to put myself into the right mindset I need for public speaking, visiting with a client, and otherwise assuming the persona or godform of the successful entrepreneur. It’s lead to some other results as well, which has been useful on other levels of my life.

Part of my fascination with this topic is born out of my recent decision to dive back into ceremonial magic further, albeit my own brand of ceremonial magic. If I can use my flair for outfits and fashion choices as magical act, it turns that into another tool and/or medium to exert my presence on a metaphysical front, as well as physical and mental front.

I’m even fascinated of late with the jewelry that one can wear. Putting a ring on can have symbolic importance, but having gotten some finger talons recently, it’s been quite fascinating to not only feel a physical difference when wearing them, but to also note the change in mindset while wearing them. It speaks to a subtle shift that I think occurs far more often than many of us might realize, when it comes to what we wear and how it prepares us for social situations, but also how we can proactively utilize principles of magical invocation to create personas, which can adeptly navigate those social situations and create more favorable situations in the future.

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I’ll actually be attending a talk by Thorn later this week at the Sekhem Maat lodge, on embracing the I am of selfhood, so this review is timely. Should be interesting.

Book Review: Kissing the Limitless by T. Thorn Coyle

This is one of those rare reviews where I would have to say that this book is an essential read for today’s occultist. Taking a mystic’s perspective to magic and it’s integration into our lives, Coyle provides a model of attaining mindful awareness that isn’t newagey and is something the occult culture sorely needs. She explores in depth the value of internal work and provides exercises that the reader can use to get in touch with his/her higher self. This book is a guide to internal work and what is refreshing about it is that it’s written from a Western tradition of magical practice. Definitely put this book on your must read list this year.

five mystic sages out of five

Ethics and magic Pt the one

I’ve recently started work on another co-written book project, since the project with Bill W is temporarily at a lull and I’ve been meaning to get started on this new project for a while anyway. This new project is an interesting one for me as it deals primarily with ethics and magic. I’m working on the first chapter and poring over the very few books I know of that deal with questions of ethics and magic (including your work Gerald) to any degree of length.

It’s rather odd to realize just how few books there are on ethics and magic, and to note as well that most of what I have come across is rooted from a Wiccan perspective on ethics. I’ve found a couple other works that deal with ethics and magic from other perspectives, but the majority of western occult texts mainly seem to deal with practical applications of magic, with little concern as to the ethical ramifications of said practices. Chaos magic tends to take a fuck off attitude to ethics and magic, and a lot of ceremonial magic seems to be far more concerned with pomp and pageantry than examining the ethical underpinnings of what’s being done by who. Even where I have found some focus on ethics, it’s been written in a rather vague way, which speaks to a decision to abstract the issues, as opposed to dealing with them concretely.  It confirms quite a bit to me, in terms of some of the concerns I have about the occult subculture and where it is or rather isn’t going in terms of evolving.

Is there such a thing as ethical magic? That’s a rhetorical question by the way. I actually think there is such a thing as ethical magic…but how to define it or explain what it is…well that’s the subject of a co-written book I and Vince Stevens are working on. Stay tuned for more information, as I’m sure I’ll be posting more details and considerations as I continue this work.

Clothing magic

In Multi-Media Magic, I wrote about clothing and magic, but in a conversation with a friend, earlier tonight, I actually ended up talking a bit about my own approach to clothing in more depth. See I have specific outfits or clothing choices I make, when it comes to activating specific persona or role choices.

For example, tonight Lupa and I went to a fet event at the conservatory. I was in a subby mood, so I got dressed in black harem pants and a black poets blouse, which perfectly evoked for that subby persona. If I’m in a toppish mood and feeling somewhat masculine, slashed up pants and a t-shirt will work or if I’m feeling more feminine in my gender choice, a mesh shirt, vest, and hakama pants will help.

Naturally I extend this kind of work outside of my fetish interests. When I meet with a client, I’m dressed in a business suit. I do make sure the pants are comfortable, and the shirt is colorful, and I always wear one of my trademark hats. I use the clothing to help me get into the role I need to perform. Something which really interested me is that my business persona changed as I added new apparel to it. The sports jacket, the black socks, etc, all created changes in the persona, to help it fit more into what I needed it to be.

Recently I bought a purple shirt and pants and that also has it’s own association and role. In fact every outfit I have has specific purposes for creating and sustaining specific roles I need to be in. Each outfit is used to create a kind of space and place for the roles I want to inhabit. The clothing becomes ritual gear. When it is put on, I assume specific roles. The clothing acts as a trigger point, a way of assuming a specific mantle and preparing myself for specific types of interactions.

I’ve always treated clothing in that way. The clothes become the ritual costumes, by which I change myself into whatever I need to be for given situations.

Running energy with someone

The other night, I had a friend over and we did some energy work together. Her energy is very intense. She’s done a lot of work with the Tantra system of energy work, which means it’s got a fair amount of kundalini energy being packed, but her personal energy is also a very intense kind of energy. We ran energy together and I put a minimal amount of my own energy into the cycle, enough to contribute, but not so much that I was trying to vie with her energy. I wanted to feel her energy and how it works and also just flow into the cycle…gradually building up to a place of mutual comfort.

I find when running energy with someone, it’s good to flow with the energy. Don’t fight the direction. Let it establish itself and then move with it. By doing so, you’ll get a lot more out of the experience. Additionally, add energy gradually. Don’t try and overwhelm someone. Finally, if after you’ve energy with someone, you feel a bit weird…meditate on it…work through the feeling and assimilate the energy or return it to the person.

Assorted matters

I’ve been feeling a bit stagnant in my magical practice lately. I’ve been doing my daily rituals, my emptiness working, and even have been involved in a economic activism experiment I hope to post about soon, but being at Heartland did remind me of how important it can be to get out of the usual patterns and push yourself into some new places.

I have to admit my emptiness working has perhaps caused some of this feeling of stagnation. To some degree everything in my life feels empty at times and it can be hard to face that.

At Heartland, I ended up doing a fair amount of energy work with one of the people I met there and it reminded me of some of the practices I’ve done in the past with energy work, so today while having a conversation with Lupa, I asked her to run energy with me. We both noted that the energy between us felt strong and steady, speaking to a strong connection between us. I’d run energy with other people and found different variations, which seemed to speak to the connections I felt with each person. I may be trying more of this as a way to ground my awareness into the connection I have with a given person.

Also at Heartland, I ended up picking up some clothing, which included Hakama pants and a black vest with colorful patterns on it. When I combined the vest and pants with a mesh shirt and my black hat I found I’d created a ritual garb for myself, which very much invoked my connection with Xah. I’ve already got some ideas on how I can enhance that ritual costume further, which I’ll be trying out soon…both for magical work and also for another type of scene. I want to play to my roots as a ceremonial magician more, albeit with my own flair and imagination. It’s been a while since I’ve used some of the more ceremonial aspects of my magical practice, but I think it will be a fun challenge for me.

Book Review: Mapping the Dharma by Paul Gerhard

I found this book to be very readable and easy to follow. I really appreciated how it was set up to explain Buddhism in a very approachable manner, with clear and concise explanations of what Buddhism is about. While I’m already familiar with Buddhism, the author’s way of explaining the core concepts and different components of it really helped me understand a lot more about Buddhism. I came away with a much more solid understanding of Buddhism, its practices and how I could incorporate it into my life.

5 out of 5 meditators

When Elephants Weep: The Emotional Lives of Animals by By Jeffery Masson and Susan McCarthy

This was a thought-provoking book about the emotional lives of animals and how much we take for granted by trying to assume that only humans can feel emotions. The authors provided a wide variety of anecdotes from their own experiences as well as the experiences of others. They show that animals can feel emotions and also interact in a variety of ways that go beyond traditional scientific reports on them. This book also raises some important questions about how we treat animals. My only complaint would be that at times the authors are very biased about how they feel, which consequently tones down some of what they attempt to convey to readers.

4 out of 5 animals

Heartland

Lupa and I just came back from Heartland, a pagan festival that occurs every year in Kansas. I had a very enjoyable time there. I got to co-present workshops with Lupa, as well as share the festival experience with her, and also got to meet a lot of wonderful people. I even got to reconnect with some old friends, which was a bonus as I haven’t seen these people since 2005. It was quite pleasant to re-connect with them. It’s definitely a festival I hope to present at again, and one I highly recommend going to, if you live near it or can easily drive to it.

I enjoyed presenting the workshops a lot. We had great audiences…good questions, good comments, and a lot of interest….that and being back in the midwest…I have to admit I did feel a bit of homesickness for the midwest/East coast Festival scene. I don’t really miss the midwest itself, but the festival scene out there is very dynamic and active, much more so than the festival scene in the pacific northwest. I reflected on that for a while…

Larger population, but also a population in a conservative area or this country. For many of the people who attend such events it’s their only opportunity to really be in a place where they will be accepted unconditionally, whereas Portland, OR at least is so liberal that the subcultures don’t really have a pressing need to gather together.  That’s not to say they can’t get together, but in general they don’t have to hide that their pagan or worry that they’ll lose their job if they get outed as poly (and I say that last remark  on the basis of a friend of mine who works in a corporate environment here who was told it was perfectly ok to be poly).

Now I know not all the pac NW is a liberal bastion. Go to the Oregon coast for example and you’ll see a fairly conservative environment, depending on where you are on that coast, but having lived in the Midwest for a while, and now living in the PAC NW region, I still have to say that people here do have it a bit easier comparatively speaking, and consequently the cultural differences that show up are rather interesting to observe.

I remember a daughter telling her mother about she’d told kids at school about dragons and magic and her mother cautioning her not to tell the kids in school about her beliefs, because they might not understand and it could lead to some problems, and thought…in PDX, she wouldn’t have to tell her kid that, more than likely. And honestly, it made me grateful for the fact that I live where I live now, but it also showed me once again why festivals, which occur in places where it’s conservative, are so essential: It gives the people living there a place to be accepted and open about their beliefs, lifestyles, etc. and it can be an experience they only get for a limited time.

And then, in the end, I think it won’t stop me from appreciating what I do have here, both in terms of festivals and communities I participate in…it just makes me appreciate all the more what I do have and where I live.